How to put the ‘Happy’ in Happy Mother’s Day
It’s daunting knowing a celebratory day is approaching. How can you make the day any more special when many days merge into each other & you are like a walking zombie. When no one comes to your rescue & what you desperately need is a break!
On the day it seems the rest of the World’s Mother’s are being pampered & showered with gifts, cooked lunches & finery, you are faced with tackling the usual household chores to the sound of screaming meltdowns,bickering & general mayhem. Can’t they make this a day about me for once!
That’s certainly how I was feeling a few days ago. The last week has been hit & miss with school attendance, autism meltdowns & packed with teenage anxiety, hitting an all time high ( ironic, as she’s off to see the band All Time Low next week!) Refusing to get out of bed let alone go to school.Pining for Cornwall, pining for a better life. Pining for the life we had…the life that was close to perfection, well at least some of it was pretty much perfect all things considered. Beach sunsets, surfing, theatre performances, milder climate, laid back lifestyle. Sea breeze & salty air. Clear lungs & freckled face…the 2 bedroomed house & lack of money didn’t dampen or spoil the otherwise privileged life we were living. It’s taken a long time to let go of the bitterness & anger inside that I’ve felt towards my ex husband, but it does lessen & with time & courage, you become mentally free of that imprisonment & grasp he has over you. You deserve better. Your children don’t deserve that resentment & sadness spilling over into the already dire situation you now seem to be in.
No matter how much of a failure you feel…your children DO love you. It’s hard, it’s tough. Your negative thoughts are a combination of all the crap that’s been said to you, said about you, thrown at you & the diabolical position you’ve been left in.But with strong mentality & with a vision for what you are aiming for & what you know you will achieve you will find yourself deep in moments you’ve created. Forgetting the ‘things’ around you, the ‘drama’ around you, you will find yourself in abundance of LOVE, then when you feel these happy moments, you can build on more & take strength from each one.
Today, Mother’s Day,I’d awoken to a silent house. That was a good start. Then my eldest daughter popped her head around the door & asked if i wanted coffee…erm..yes please! Coffee is my middle name! (plus I can’t get through ANY day without it!) I stayed in bed & for the first time in so very long, I had coffee & bagel in bed. My son then came in & presented me with vouchers he’d made, hand written, designed & much thought had gone into them. Such joy, such love filled my heart, ok, so one was a joke about giving him a £100! but a voucher offering ’10 free hugs’ from a boy who rarely displays physical love, this was just a special moment indeed. Then both my daughters presented me with some beautiful natural products to help de-stress, how unbelievably thoughtful! I cannot wait to try these Neom Organics, they smell divine!
A trip to the RSPB Nature Reserve for a long walk with the dogs, a lush flat white & pizza for tea. THAT was a perfect day. A day filled with love & unexpected normality. So for those days when you feel you can’t take much more, you close your bedroom door & lean against the cold, hard wall, sinking to the ground, head in hands crying your heart out, for those days you’re told you’re a failure, feel a failure & are near to jacking it all in-know there are better days, days where you are happy because you really feel happy! & it reflects on your children & all around you.
In the end, I am the only one, who can give my children, a happy mother who loves life. Jane Wolsey Baadsgaard.